Nadine’s Blog

I recently attended a “Learn to Meditate” course, taught by Swami Shankarananda at the Shiva Meditation centre in Mt Eliza. My brother and his partner missed the 3rd week so I took copious notes so I could bring them up to speed before the last session. The last session came and went and I still haven’t passed on the teaching from week three so am writing them here.

Swamiji started with an anecdote about two meditation students walking along together. They came across a flag pole and one of the monks said “Look! The flag is flapping in the breeze.” The other monk said “What are you talking about? Obviously the breeze is flapping the flag.”  The two monk debate back and forth ferociously for miles as they walked along until they came across a Zen master. They put their question to the master - is the flag flapping in the breeze or is the breeze flapping the flag? The Zen master prompted announced “Your minds are flapping!”.

This was an introduction to the topic of the night’s session - the mind. Swamiji talk about the Self, the mind, the senses and the world. The world just is and the senses simply register what happens in the world. The mind interprets what comes through the senses - this is good for me, this is bad for me.  The Self is always a place of peace and joy. Your true nature. It’s the mind which gets us in trouble!

Swamiji talked about “Mind Culture” and explained that in the context of meditation, Mind Culture is not about acquiring information, it is about getting happiness. It’s about making sure the mind doesn’t make us miss out on joy and peace.

Sow a thought and you reap an action
Sow an action and you reap a habit
Sow a habit and you reap a character
Sow a character and you reap a destiny

After sharing this verse, Swamiji spoke about how, in life, a lot of things can come in the way of who we are and how we create our life. The single thought repeated can come in the way of the self. Whenever our emotion attaches to a thought, it becomes strong.

With this, Swamiji was introducing the concept of tearing thoughts. A tearing thought is a thought which tears into your heart, into your self. They are the main way we torment ourselves. A sage once said “cease to be a problem to yourself!”  We become our own enemy - the mind is a source of both bondage and liberation. The mind, which is the closest thing to you, turns against us with tearing thoughts.

Swamiji shared another anecdote. There was a once a farmer who was struggling to keep up with the work of maintaining his farm. He heard about a local magician and went to seek his help. The magician offered the farmer a demon who would be able to do the work of dozens of men but he warned the farmer that if the demon ever ran out of work, he would eat up the farmer! The farmer, thinking of the huge backload of work on the farm, thought there was little chance of this and accepted the demon.  Once back at the farm, the demon set to work and to the farmer’s wonderment and dismay, the demon ploughed all the fields in hours not weeks and flew through the other tasks at hand. The farmer started to worry that the demon would run out of work, so he visited the local swami. The swami told the man the solution - when the demon ran out of work, set him the task of erecting a large pole in the yard and tell him his job was to climb up and down the pole until he was called to his next task. The farmer did just this and he and demon lived together peacefully from then on.

The demon is our mind - everything we experience goes through the mind and when the mind becomes idle, it turns against us. Providing the mind with a pole, for instance Mantra, is the best solution.

The next topic Swamiji spoke about was the relationship between thought and feeling. Thought and feeling are intricately linked - where there is negative thought, there is negative feeling, and where there is positive thought, there is positive feeling. If you are depressed, there must be negative thought underlying and feeding the feeling.

Tearing thoughts love to operate without being seen. Once you see them, they don’t work as well, their power goes away. Always look to see what thoughts are underneath a negative feeling - there must be tearing thoughts hiding there! Ramana Mahashi once said that the mind is one but has two tendencies - positive and negative. When the mind is operating under the positive tendency, it is a good mind and visa versa. Swamiji spoke about 1st education and 2nd education. 1st education is about IQ while second education is about a good mind - open, happy and peaceful.

A sublime thought expands and elevates the mind, while a bad thought contracts the mind and heart.  Happy thoughts bring positive vibrations. As you become more sensitive to your inner self, you start to see the effect that thoughts have on your being.

The mind is our closest environment, we live in it all the time. We need to keep it beautiful! It can be a garden of joy or a place of despair. Every little effort put towards keeping the mind beautiful is worth it.

Swamiji pointed out that it is very difficult to work with feeling. If we are feeling sad and someone says “cheer up”, it has little effect on the feeling and is unlikely to help you shift the feeling. But if you work with thought, you can more easily change feelings.

The third topic Swamiji spoke of was Introjection, which is the act of placing new thoughts into the mind to replace negative thoughts. Introjection can be mantra, self inquiry, affirmations or contemplations. We can subtitute negative thoughts with positive thoughts. We need to remember that we are free to decide what goes on in our mind but we forget and think we can’t. It’s a free choice to make a change to the mind.

Using the analogy of the mind as a garden, if we are not pruning and cultivating, weeds will take over. Prune bad thoughts and plant good thoughts. Make some effort!

The mind gives every event an interpretation which creates feeling. Without negative thoughts, there would only be happiness. If we find ourselves thinking negatively, change the way we are seeing things. Find a way to hold challenges in a positive way.

Patanjali said to get rid of negative thoughts, think of the opposite. If we feel fear, we can contemplate confidence or strength, if we feel angry, we can contemplate peace, acceptance and forgiveness.

The final topic swamiji shared with us was Witnessing. Witnessing is about watching your thoughts without becoming attached to them - you are not your thoughts but you are the watcher of your thoughts, the witness who is always present in your life.

Swamiji said to try to get a little space between your thoughts and your self and just watch them. Don’t become attached to them. Simply observe them then let them go. It is only when we cling to the thoughts that they begin to form certain patterns.

Swamiji spoke about witnessing the breath and letting the thoughts just come and go without holding onto them. Watch the breath as it passes over the lips, or count the breaths - up to 9 and then restart (so you don’t get caught up in a challenge of reaching a high number!).

The mind and breath are connected - working with the breath can calm the mind. Prana-yama is the term for breath meditation.

The meditation technique which Swamiji shared with us was the Ham Sa meditation. On the in breath, say Hum, on the out breath, Sa. Hum means I am and Sa means that. Breathe air into the inner world, contemplate the self, the “I am”. Breathe air out to ‘that’ - the world, universal consciousness. Don’t say it as a mantra - the breath naturally finds a peaceful rhythm so just let it flow. Hear the sound of the breath, watch the breath. Stand in the breath and the thoughts will go into the background. If you focus on the breath, you won’t run off with your thoughts. If you do find yourself caught up in your thoughts, gently and calmly refocus back on the breath, forgive yourself and return to watching the breath. Depending on what works for you, listen to the sound of the breath, feel the feeling of the breath or visualise the breath.

Swamiji concluded before leading us into meditation by reminding us that we can change everything in the outer world but you are stuck with your mind - so work with it! Make it work with you.  Identify tearing thoughts - don’t supress them. If we ‘put on a brave face’, stuff will leak out eventually, so it is best to deal with it - identify it so it can be let go. You can’t reason with a tearing thought - it will pull you into an endless spiral of negativity so invalidate them. Invalidate them by saying “this must be a tearing thought because of the way it makes me feel”. We need to unlearn many bad habits so start making little bits of effort.

As he was leading us into the meditation, Swamiji said that in prana-yama, sometimes the breath becomes so slow it seems to stop, and that this is good so if it happens, just let it happen. Don’t control the breath - just let it find it’s own natural rhythym.

Feel like you are inside the breath, feel the feeling of aliveness inside…

Tags: Learn to Meditate, Meditation, Shankarananda, Swami Shankarananda

After not doing anything creative for at least a year, I was feeling the effects of it - consumed by work, easily frustrated by the politics and processes of the corporate world and lacking a feeling of passion, inspiration and spontaneity that used to be familiar and energising. In fact, I felt a real lack of energy - as they might say at the Ashram, I had lost connection with my vital self.

One of the reasons I had stopped doing glass slumping was the limitation of the temperature controller on my kiln, so I saw this as a practical problem which could be easily fixed with a bit of cash. I had a Harco electronic kiln controller (HE-NC8) installed on my Tetlow K4a kiln.

The Harco controlled works well and is easy to use. It can hold eight 8-stage programmes, allowing for controlled temperature increases and cooling, as well as soaking for periods of time at one temperature. The instructions are a bit confusing, which is funny because Tetlow even provide re-written instructions which are nearly as confusing as the original Harco guide, but once I worked out how to make a programme and start the kiln, it is very easy to operate and simple to change temperatures and rates.

So with the new controller installed, I stocked up on my System 96 glass and started making plates. The first designed I tried used transparent blue glass on a clear base. The blue was cut into curved squares (is there such a thing?) and fused onto the clear. I fired this to 780 degrees so the blue squares retained their shape, with nice rounded sides.

Excited by the ease and effectiveness of this design, and motivated by my mum’s upcoming birthday, I then made a set of Japanese styled plates. The first time I cut out the curve from the black square, it worked perfectly, but Murphy’s Law meant that I wasted 3 more squares of black glass trying to repeat it! I ended up succeeding in breaking out the black circle segment by running the crack on the underside of the glass, tapping and pressing with patience. The red circle segment proved to be no problem as this could be cut from a far smaller square of glass which seemed to mean it had less desire for the break to run off its course.

I fused the black and red glass onto a clear base so it looked the same from the underside, and used white stringers to form the lines at the side. I fired the piece to 785 degrees to fuse the glass then slumped it to 665 degrees.

I made some smaller dishes using the same design but with white instead of the black. To round off mum’s present, I made an oval dish with curves of black, red and white.

Searching the internet for design ideas, I came across the Sri Yantra Hindu symbol. I built up the central triangle using stringers, and after several attempts, I managed to get the triangle formation to stay in place while firing.

To do this, I tack fused the triangles separately at 730 degree, then stacked them together and fused the triangle pattern together at 740 degrees which worked well - this made the centre pattern flat.

To make the main base design, I found a good video on Youtube which makes cutting circles look easy! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7pVZt5c80M

I tried it when cutting the white circle and it worked! I then fused the entire design at 785 degrees and slumped it into the plate shape at 665 degrees.Unfortunately, the triangles picked up some shelf wash which I thought I cleaned off, but you can see here that I didn’t get it all so it caused some of the lines (dark green, red, orange) to pull in. The black triangle needed to be a bit larger so it retained sharper corners as well… But it was fun to experiment with firing at different temperatures.

The next design I tacked was inspired by the upcoming naming day for my friend’s new baby girl. I wanted to get them something which they could keep, something they could use and something which felt like it was from me. This daisy design was very easy after the multiple attempts of the yantra but I really like the simplicity of it.

My next step is to get the metal roof of my kiln replaced. The inside of the roof has rusted and sometimes little bits of black gunk drop into the kiln and stick themselves into the molten glass, never to be removed! Replacing the roof is going to cost $450 but it will be worth it…

Tags: Fusing, Kiln, Slumping, Warm Glass

Mohan delivered us to Jaipur airport so we could catch our flight to Delhi. The lounge was full because of a delayed flight to Mumbai and the crowd of waiting men were starting to get roudy. A couple were stirring up the group, encouraging them to hassle the security guards and staff - in the back of my mind, I remembered the crowd which got out of control in Mysore when I was there a couple of years ago and hoped they didn’t do anything crazy!

It was raining in Delhi, a steady rain which didn’t seem like it would clear. Dey and I headed for Palkin Plaza to buy an extra bag each to carry all of our purchases. No sooner than I said that I didn’t think I was going to buy that much to warrant a second bag, I promptly bought 3 king size silk doona cover sets which practically filled the bag!

The next day we headed to Old Delhi and immersed ourselves in the bustle, noise and color. We hired two rickshaws to take us up to the Spice market.

The spices were so pungent, it was overwhelming, making us sneeze and our eyes water. The colors and stalls were great and I made sure I stocked up on masalas and curry powder!

As we walked back through the main street, we came across a loud, vibrant parade, with drummers and musicians in the lead, ahead of a large float. We followed as the float was pulled down one of the small side streets and watched two men with long bamboo poles lift the tangle of low hanging powerlines out of the way. It was amazing to watch as they stopped literally every foot or two to carefully lift the wires and eased the carriage through the windy street.

The following day we went to Model Town to stay with Mama and Papa, the parents of Monama, a friend of Dey’s. We sat on the big bed with the family while everyone caught up on the news since Dey’s last visit. We spent the rest of the day looking for fabric, getting measured at the tailors and getting amazing mehendhi drawn on my arms!

Mama cooked at fabulous dinner of Rasma, brinjal and dahl, with some yummy home made curd.

The next day we took an auto to Connaught Place for coffee then then headed to Jan Path and the emporium for more shopping! Dey bought a Nataraj which really pushed her luggage well over the allowed weight limit!

As we wandered back through Connaught place to get another coffee, a voice called out from behind us, “fancy dumping into you here!”. It was Philip, who was with us in Ganeshpuri. He was stretching his legs during his last hour before heading off to the airport to catch a plane back to Melbourne. Talk about the planets aligning! It was an amazing coincidence and we spent the next hour hearing about the group’s trip to Haridwar, feeling excited and envious all at once!

Mama put on another fabulous dinner that night of brinjal and gobi pakoras. On my last full day in Delhi, we wandered around Model Town, collected our new clothes from the tailors and ate more of Mama’s delicious food! That night it was aloo matter, channa masala and palak paneer! Great!

I left Dey and Delhi on the 16th March and headed down to Bangalore to visit Precilla and the other friends I made when I worked for Shell India in 2004. Traffic was crazy as usual and it took 2 hours and a ‘long’ shortcut through a paddock to get from the airport to ITPL to catch up with all the Shellbies there…

Precilla and I spent the next day looking through Russell market and Bridge Road and we tried in vain to find the little shop where I bought the meditation seats on my last trip.

I was really looking forward to going home so was glad to head out to the airport for the long journey home…

What a trip! Ganeshpuri opened my eyes and heart to the possibilities of life without all the angst and crap we get caught up in. I need to remember it when I get caught up in the mundane and unimportant parts of life which so easily take the forefront in our minds and priorities. I will remember it! Om Namah Shivaya!

In the morning, Mohan drove us to Udaipur aiport to catch our flight to Jaipur. After checking in, there were a further three (!) security checks before we got on the plane, each one checking through our bags. The process was slow and long winded and frustrated a few people in the queue, but the various color coded stamps we received on our tickets let the organisers know exactly were everyone was in the process so we finally made it to the plane!

As we arrived to Jaipur, we organised a pre-paid taxi and proceeded to have a strange and confusing conversation with the driver about stopping to get his “mixie”. Always skeptical of some scam we were a bit doubtful, but when he took us to his parked car to collect a broken mix master from the boot, we realised that we were too suspicious for our own good - he just wanted to take the opportunity of a trip into the city to get his mixie repaired!

Jaipur was a really beautiful city, filled with contrasts - the sort of Indian city you see in large color filled photos in coffee-table books. It was full of contrasts - extraordinary architecture but filthy streets. Poverty was everywhere, in every corner of the chaos and bustle - more than we had experienced on our trip so far. Beggers were intensely persistent - grabbing and clutching at our arms and hands, pushing babies and little kids in front of us. It was exhausting emotionally - knowing that if you hand money to the person in front of you, there are dozens more who will take her place and she will still need more tomorrow.

We made our way to the hotel we had pre-booked to find no booking and no room, so headed to the hotel next door. It was the grimiest, filthiest hotel ever - it seriously looked like it had never been cleaned, surfaces were coated with a layer of ground in dirt, the cistern leaked so we had to keep the tap turned off, the bins in the halls weren’t emptied, but the beds were actually really comfy and the water was hot, so it did the job. The son of the old man who ran the place was very ernest, but his mild obsession with taking us up to the roof to admire the views was a tab creepy.

We dumped our bags, padlocked the door and headed off the old pink city. To me, it was a classic Indian city - at every intersection you could see trucks, buses, cars, autos, motorbike, bicycles, hand-pulled carts, cycle rickshaws (or ‘helicoptors’), camels, cows, people and dogs. The odd elephant as well!

Hawa Mahal, the Palace of Winds, was built in the 18th century as chambers for the Maharaj’s harem. The tall long building is made up of a honeycomb of ramped corridors and nearly 1000 windows which overlook the street below, allowing the women to take in the bustle and activity without being seen. We made our way up the ramps to the top, looking down at the bustling street below. From the top, the view extended across the city, taking in the palace, moghul style roof tops and pink sandstone buildings.

We headed down to the City Palace next, followed all the way by a group of women begging. “Restoration” had made parts of the palace look quite modern and plain, but in other areas, detailed mosaic like decorations were impressive.

In the central courtyard sat the two largest pieces of silver in the world - two huge silvers bowls, complete with traditionally dressed guards who will pose for photos in exchange for a tip. Problem is trying to get a photo without them in it!!

We took bicycle rickshaws back to our hotel - Dey’s driver was a funny old man who called his cyclo a ‘helicoptor’ and laughed and smiled the whole way. It was a fun way to travel through the bustle.

The next day we caught an auto to Amber Fort. Auto was not the best choice of transport because it was bumpy as hell and really dusty but we made it to the fort in one piece. I rode an elephant up to the top. There are 97 elephants working there and improvements have been put in place recently to make sure they are not overworked. They can only carry 2 people at a time and can only make 5 trips each day. My elephant was called Champa, and as she lumbered up the road we could see her 5 year old baby, Godi, across the pavillion, posing for photos with tourists.

The fort was gorgeous. Built of red sandstone and white marble, the style was a blend of muslim and hindu architecture. Sparse hills surround the fort and walls wind their way across the top and down to the old palace. Inside, the first stop was a Kali temple which had a beautiful atmosphere which matched its physical beauty. We wandered through and looked at the various chambers of the maharaj and his wives. A ’secret’ passage winds through the palace allowing the king to discreetly visit different wives and concubines without knowledge of the others. Beautiful stone inlays decorated the main hall and a manicured garden filled the central square.

On the way back to the city, Dey sat on the back seat of the auto, looking out the back. Although we tried to anticipate bumps and call out warnings so she could brace herself, an unexpected bump jolted her so she whacked her head on the roof. The driver’s word of wisdom was ‘memory, memory’, meaning she would have something to remember from the journey! Next time, I think we’ll travel by car!

On the street on our way to dinner, a street barber was shaving the underarms of a man! Bizarre sight which made us do a doubletake. That night, our last in Jaipur, we played Euchre down in the grotty “restaurant” at the hotel, while a huge thunderstorm rumbled around us. The fact there was a guy asleep on the floor just didn’t seem that strange in this hotel! Interested experience…

Once back in Udaipur, we visited the local spice market to get some pics.

The market was sprawled over several small streets with most stalls set up in little shop fronts, rather than on the ground. Lots of people asked for photos as usual, so we spend a couple of hours snapping away then showing people the pics on the LCD screen. One old man was so blown away by seeing his picture that I am sure it was the first time he has had it taken. I took a pic with him and his grandson and got their stall address so will see if a copy can find him via snailmail.

Another day trip on March 7th - this time to Dungapur. Nafish, the guy who runs our hotel, said dung means bum so he kept laughing and saying we were going to bumville! Crazy funny man who got the giggles a lot, especially with us egging him on! The trip to Dungapur was on well made highways so was very uneventful. Uneventful until we actually got into the town of Dungapur when our driver went to la-la land for a minute and pulled out to pass one auto and ran straight into another auto. Luckly we were only going about 20kph so damage to us was nil and to the car and auto not so much. Luckily Rp250 from our driver to the auto resolved the situation and we headed on to the palace hotel.

The palace hotel was originally a palace but now half has been turned into a hotel, with the Maharaj of the region living in the other half of the old palace. It is a grand ornate building which has been well maintained.

The pool area is great - the pool is designed so it looks like it flows straight into the lake which neighbours the palace. It seemed like a good place to stay for a couple of days.

After the ‘new’ palace, we headed to the old palace. 700 years old and 9 storeys, it was very run down but throughout it were hints of the amazing place it must have been when people lived there. Lots of the paintings on the wall were still there and the sitting room was still fairly intact with its mirrored tiles and mosaics. The green maharani’s room was gorgeous with paintings of elephants and horses.

There was a Shiva room and Krishna room where faint paintings of these two gods still covered the walls. The place isn’t totally uninhabited - as we walked up the narrow stone stair case, a tiny leg of a bat moved and pulled itself back into the dark safety behind the door!

We stopped for a quick look at a couple of old temples before heading home. I noticed that instead of the meticulous stone fences which covered the hills on the way to Kumbhalgarh, this time fences were grown from cacti - less maintainance at least!

That night we went to the show at the Cultural centre. The actual space was fantastic - some old ornate building with an open courtyard in the centre, with arches and trees. We took our seats on the cushions on the floor and watched demonstrations of fabulous traditional dances, performed by women in colorful decorated costumes.

A puppet show had people laughing as a Maharaja juggled his head with hands and feet. The show concluded with the pot dance - a dance by one woman who progressively carried more and more pots on her head. The pots themselves weren’t enough so she not only lay down on the ground with the pots on her head and picked up a scarf with her teeth, she also danced on a pile of broken glass. The finale saw her run around in a large circle with over 10 pots on her head, leaving the stage to a frezy of claps and cheers!

The following day, Dey and I hired a small paddle boat and somehow managed to manaouvre our way around the lake. Well, we zig zag’d and backtracked a lot, but we did make it around. So many of our pictures are crooked though - amazing how hard it is to get a staight horizon in a tiny rocking floating boat!

For dinner we headed to ‘new’ Nataraj - a reknowned Thali restaurant. For Rp70 (about AUD2) we had a bottom-less thali made from the freshest ingredient, served by about 10 different waiters each offering a different curry, masala, dahl or bread. It was fantastic! On our way back to the hotel, we noticed a street we hadn’t explored which looked like it would offer an excellent shopping experience!

Exploring it that night, Dey found a store where she literally liked almost every minature painting in there and struggled to reduce her purchase to under 50! Well, 50 is an exageration, but that night and the next day Dey added at least another 10 pics to her growing collection! We headed back to the street the next day, our last day in Udaipur, and not only discovered a much needed place which made real expresso coffee (YAY!!) but had a beautiful, tranquil garden courtyard out the back. We passed a few hours relaxing in the garden oasis before heading reluctantly back to our hotel to pack.